Dr. Grisel Lopez-Escobar, PhD, LMHC, NCC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor # MH 20052
Providing Virtual Therapy to Adult Clients Located in the States of
Florida (primary license), as well as Colorado, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and Vermont, USA
Specializing in Supporting Clients who are Newly Secular / Deconstructing / Have Experienced Religious Trauma
I'm a paragraph. Click here to add your own text and edit me. It's easy.
Are you experiencing relationship struggles? Whether its with a romantic partner, a friend or a family member, relationships can be challenging. Are you wondering how to get out of the loop of endless arguments, feeling bad about yourself, feeling powerless to change things and then caving in to old beliefs that keep you stuck? You wonder how other people do 'this relationship thing' and can't seem to zoom out and see how your thoughts affect what it is that you put up with. You know what you want, but are somehow unsure if it's what you even deserve. You're perplexed as to how you always seem to end up in the same type of situation, as if by magic. You know you need help, but worry about how to go about fixing things.
Relationship Struggles
TedTalk embedded link posted under their Creative Commons license. For more info visit the TED Talks Usage Policy.
Fast forward to a few weeks from now. You're starting to see a glimmer of hope. You understand more about relationships and how they work. You're learning about boundary setting and what your mind was previously telling you about your right to set them in the first place. You're beginning to recognize the conclusions you've been reaching about yourself, others and the world you live in, and can decide which ones help you and which ones hinder you. You're starting to understand that relationship struggles are a common experience for everyone and as a result, beat yourself up less with each passing week. You're giving yourself permission to examine what's been going on, what's OK and what is definitely not OK with you. You're starting to get that you can eventually create a future in which you love and respect yourself as much as you wish others would love and respect you.
What makes relationships so hard?
The thing is, we want relationships, we need relationships, but they can be a big source of stress, and one of the top reasons people seek therapy. Struggles can vary widely depending on the people in the relationship, their behavior patterns and what is currently going on. All of this can be exacerbated if we are taught as children or through previous experiences that we should not set boundaries, that our opinions don't matter, or that we are somehow 'lesser than' others. Here are some examples of what this can look like:
Communication issues: Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and unresolved conflicts. Difficulties in expressing needs, listening attentively, or engaging in healthy dialogue can strain relationships.
Trust and betrayal: Trust is vital in any relationship. Experiences of betrayal, such as infidelity or broken promises, can deeply impact trust and create significant challenges in rebuilding it.
​
Communication issues: Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and unresolved conflicts. Difficulties in expressing needs, listening attentively, or engaging in healthy dialogue can strain relationships.
Trust and betrayal: Trust is vital in any relationship. Experiences of betrayal, such as infidelity or broken promises, can deeply impact trust and create significant challenges in rebuilding it.
​
Conflict resolution: Disagreements and conflicts are natural in relationships, but the inability to resolve them constructively can lead to ongoing tension and resentment. Difficulty finding common ground or compromising can strain the relationship.
Emotional intimacy: Maintaining emotional connection and intimacy can be challenging. Lack of emotional support, neglect, or emotional distance can cause feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Differences in values or goals: When people have conflicting values, ambitions, or goals, it can create tension and hinder the ability to make important decisions or work toward a shared future.
Imbalance in power dynamics: Relationships can be affected by power struggles and imbalances. When one person consistently dominates decision-making or exhibits controlling behavior, it can lead to resentment and diminished satisfaction.
​
Lack of quality time and prioritization: Busy lifestyles, work pressures, and competing commitments can result in neglecting the relationship. Failing to spend quality time together or prioritize the relationship can strain emotional bonds.
External stressors: External factors like financial problems, career challenges, or family issues can impact a relationship. Coping with these stressors as a team is essential, but it can be difficult to navigate the added strain they bring.
Cultural differences: Cultural differences can be a source of discord and if not addressed, can create misunderstandings and arguments. Click here for more on this specialty.